This is about my everyday endeavors, while being a woman.

Recently, I completed my first two lead climbs ever--outside at some beginner crag in Mission Gorge. On top of that, just the other day, I realized I could now do full-on pull ups. I was so excited about my progress, however slow it's been.

Now what does this have to do with being a woman? Well there are a number of things, but it's primarily about being recognized for doing these types of feats for what they're worth, WITHOUT comparison to a man or any belittling of [my] efforts. Some comments or reactions I've received concerning my personal "outdoor accomplishments" and everyday deeds have left me perplexed and even a little resentful. For example, upon hearing about my lead climbs this week, some dudes at the climbing gym looked excessively surprised and even had to ask twice if I actually led the route (as in, not on top-rope). Sure, this reaction is not a huge deal in itself. But it never really stops there, does it?

Last week, Jeff and I manufactured our own wooden corn-hole set, and to everyone's delight, it turned out amazing. I mean, of course! We had worked so hard on it. Key word: we. Yet, the common reactions were "Jeff made this thing!... oh, and his girlfriend. Well, she made the bags!"  (referring to sewing the cornhole bags). This was a such a peeve because, I will tell you all now.., apart from searching for, buying & sewing up the fabric pieces, I also very much did do a good chunk of wood cutting, sanding, drilling and assembly/drilling. It goes without saying that Jeff did a great and tough job, but so did I. Even he admits I probably spent more time working on the project than him. Still, majority of folks' expectations were that I only helped him.* Seriously?

Okay, I know it sounds like a bunch of complaining, but what really triggered this post today was a text from my dad asking how my mini home "fumigation" was going. When I said that everything was going as planned, his response was simple: "Good job, you could be a boy."

Whaaaattt.

This isn't new. I've heard "You're strong enough to be a boy" or "Ashley is the adventurous one, too much for a girl!".. "I think she would be stronger than So-&-So if she was a boy." It goes on.

I mean, okay, I get it. These folks are praising me in their own way. Still, the accumulation all of these microaggressions ultimately insult me, and women like me, doin' our thang. Why must it be so hard to believe I am capable of these things? Why should I be compared to a "boy" because I did something at all, and worse, because I did something well?

Also, when I post about things—climbing, crafting, hiking/camping, whatever—it is not my intention to just show off an activity I hardly participated in. I understand it can be far too easy to take an image simply for what it looks like: an easy-going smile after a hike or a climb; an erasure of the struggle I most likely experienced while attempting to ascend. But, really, if I show a photo or tell you about something I've done, you can bet I was not merely "there", amongst a sort of natural backdrop. I'm not pretending to participate. That is NOT the backstory to my photos. If there is something I choose to showcase, it is because I am proud of the sincere effort I've put into it.

Personally, performing tasks or even living a certain way that is "unconventional" for a woman has almost always resulted in, first, a slight skepticism. After that, acceptance or "approval" is conditional—"She did it! But she had a lot of help" or "It's easier for her because she's smaller" or even, "It was a just a fluke." I know I'm not alone as a victim of this type of subtle misogyny. There are many other women who can and do much more jaw-dropping, inspiring things, and just as sure there are those on the sidelines still doubting their efforts.

Why this skepticism is consistently pressed onto me, I can't be entirely sure. In my case, I wonder if maybe it's just because I am a woman--who can pass for a much younger girl--or maybe because I'm shorter in stature, or because I am Asian, or simply because I just don't "look" the part. Or, another "more reasonable" explanation can be that in our culture, we hold specific expectations of women and girls, of masculinity vs feminity, and we have all been guilty of perpetuating it, unconsciously even: Women are the weaker sex. Men are adventurous. Women who like to explore are manly. Men who are emotional are a bunch of pussies.

Whatever the case, I don't think I need to change or fit anyone's expectations--though admittedly, I need to remind myself of this frequently. A woman can be feminine, shy, demure AS WELL AS strong, or adventurous, or outdoorsy or geeky--and this can change depending one's mood. Duh. A woman should be able to be recognized for her accomplishments and not limited to common expectations based on our sex, lifestyle, dress, stature or physique.

You'd better believe [we] put in work. If you're seeing a bunch of exceptional women these days, it's not new a phenomena, and it's not necessarily non-conformist. Women have always pushed limits. The mold they say women are breaking could never contain us anyway.